Recent Posts

Skydiving (#22)

Little box 'o terror.
Little box o’ terror.

A piece of golden stationery and a Honda Civic that smelled of cat pee led me to the door of a room in a fancy hotel. I pushed the door open. Andy, my Chinese-American boyfriend, stood in the center of the room, holding a rose. My nervous eyes jumped around the room. Huge bed, already turned down, decorated by a box of See’s truffles. The man knew me well. (One dinner mint on a pillow isn’t even an appetizer!)  The room was bigger than my apartment. The furniture was mahogany. The floors were marble.

Thankfully, there was no sign of a square jewelry box. Continue reading Skydiving (#22)

A Big Gold Flag (#21)

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I was a fan of football, not marriage (Post #6). After I returned home from dancing with my Chinese-American boyfriend Andy on a Thursday night, I found a fancy golden envelope inside my dance bag. (All dance nerds have a bag, complete with Cuban heels and a wire brush.) My heart rate shot up. My palms grew sweaty, my vision tunneled, and I couldn’t breathe. You know, basic panic attack. Continue reading A Big Gold Flag (#21)

Text. Subtext. (#20)

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It’s 5:45 PM on Friday when I get a message from Andy.

The text reads: Why don’t you come down to my place this weekend?

And then there’s the subtext: Please don’t make me take the 405 to the 101 to the 134 two weekends in a row. Continue reading Text. Subtext. (#20)

Commando Cat vs. Owen (#19)

This is Owen the Newfoundland. Darling of Clan Drooling.
This is Owen the Newfoundland. Darling of Clan Drooling.

When JM and Shamu moved out, little Bat Cat was lonely. I was lonely. I was definitely poorer. We found a new roommate – an actress with a dog.

Bat Cat and I decided being lonely was preferable. Continue reading Commando Cat vs. Owen (#19)

Taboo, or, Why a Chinese Math Stereotype Exists (#18)

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Cards from the game “Taboo.”

It was Game Night with Andy’s aunt, uncle, and cousins. Technically, Auntie and Uncle weren’t involved in the gaming. (Well, this sort of gaming. I learned about their love affair with Las Vegas later.) Continue reading Taboo, or, Why a Chinese Math Stereotype Exists (#18)

Andy’s Deluded Ballot Measure (#17)

The only six-pack Andy will be bringing to future dinners with his cousins.
The only six-pack Andy will be bringing to future dinners with his cousins.

As Andy noted in a comment on my blog, I did meet his aunt, uncle, and cousins before I met his immediate family. He insisted that this should have prepared me for his parents. I disagree. MOST STRONGLY. Continue reading Andy’s Deluded Ballot Measure (#17)

Bites Gone Bad (#16)

A black tail of teeth, gauze, splints, and paws
A black tale of teeth, gauze, splints, and claws to give you pause.

Less than three hours after The Great Balcony Debacle & Pet Carrier Carnage, Bat Cat and Shamu Cat seemed just fine. I, on the other hand, was losing the use of my hands. Continue reading Bites Gone Bad (#16)

We Have a Jumper (#15)

Baby Bat Cat
Introducing Baby Bat Cat.

The first thing I did when I moved off the college campus in LA was get a cat. Continue reading We Have a Jumper (#15)

Andy Goes to Hollywood (#14)

The grass is always greener...especially when it's astroturf.
The grass is always greener…especially when it’s astroturf.

If you ever worked in the entertainment industry, a movie premiere was just an extension of your workday. A 5-6 hour extension, if you added in driving and parking. 6 out of 7 movies made by my employers were terrible, but God forbid Big Boss A caught you tacitly admitting this by sneaking out. Continue reading Andy Goes to Hollywood (#14)

The Heat is On (#13)

One of these is practical summer attire in the entertainment industry.
Which one is summer attire in the entertainment industry?

Office buildings in the entertainment industry are not air-conditioned for normal people. No. They are cooled to a comfortable temperature for executives who are predominantly old, white, fat, and wear suits. He who controls the industry controls the thermostat. Continue reading The Heat is On (#13)