The Best of the Worst Year (#312)

I know of exactly three people who are loving the pandemic lockdown. One is my Genius Nephew who taught himself to read at age 3 and did long division problems for fun on snow days. Genius Nephew loves staying home with the cats. He relishes having complete control of all social interactions via Discord. In October, as his parents and sister struggled with confinement, Genius Nephew sighed contentedly at the dinner table and announced, “This is the greatest year ever!”

At least someone is happy.

The rest of us who’ve followed CDC guidelines and state stay-at-home orders are…less happy. We’ve turned to baking, crafting, walking, and the arts to survive. Yeah, THE ARTS: books, movies, and television. (So think about just who saved your ass the next time you denigrate liberal arts degrees.)

Here’s the list of the books, movies, and shows that made me laugh and cry. Best of all, they took me somewhere else when I couldn’t leave the house. Continue reading The Best of the Worst Year (#312)

Cakes & Bellwethers (#138)

When I started working as an assistant for the Empress of International Film and Television Sales, it was a temp job, to make ends meet while I tried to make it as a screenwriter. But the Empress was soon addicted to my organizational skills. I was soon addicted to my paycheck and health insurance.

I worked long hours. In at 7-8 AM to deal with Europe, out at 7-8 PM after dealing with Asia. Right before film markets, the hours were even longer. At film markets and festivals, you were on duty 24-7. There were perks, though. Tables at the best restaurants had to be booked months in advance, with a deposit. If my boss got invited elsewhere, guess who got the pre-paid table? Me, and three friends. Sometimes it was me and some random people I’d literally just met. Continue reading Cakes & Bellwethers (#138)

The Reluctant Bachelorette (#58)

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The Hollywood Men

I’m not a fan of strip clubs. The places called “XXX” and “Exotic Dancer” in Hollywood and near Los Angeles International Airport are dark holes, reeking of desperation. There are a few bachelor parties that wander in on Friday nights, but for the most part, the clientele consists of socially awkward men. In fact, the LAX clubs do a nice business thanks to the lunch breaks of engineers in El Segundo’s aerospace/ defense companies. (Gotta wonder who signs off on THOSE security clearances.) Continue reading The Reluctant Bachelorette (#58)

Murphy’s Wedding (#57)

Sometimes, the bride feels like anything BUT a princess.
Sometimes, the bride feels like anything BUT a princess.

I couldn’t figure out why my wedding was so stressful until I compared it to making a movie.

If a wedding were a Hollywood movie, the bride would be the director, the producer, and the writer. She’s the costume designer, the casting director, and the location scout.

The bride is also the star.

The bride is so screwed. Continue reading Murphy’s Wedding (#57)

The American Film Market (#29)

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Behind the Scenes at the American Film Market

Have you ever wondered how Hollywood movies wind up in Malaysia? The legitimate 10% that aren’t pirated, I mean. Well, hang onto your DVDS, I’m about to pull back the curtain. Continue reading The American Film Market (#29)

Andy Goes to Hollywood (#14)

The grass is always greener...especially when it's astroturf.
The grass is always greener…especially when it’s astroturf.

If you ever worked in the entertainment industry, a movie premiere was just an extension of your workday. A 5-6 hour extension, if you added in driving and parking. 6 out of 7 movies made by my employers were terrible, but God forbid Big Boss A caught you tacitly admitting this by sneaking out. Continue reading Andy Goes to Hollywood (#14)