The Safe House (#388)

My neighborhood, which is flat with sidewalks, became super popular for trick-or-treating about a decade ago. Families drove in from other areas of LA, parked at the nearby schools, and made the rounds. I was thrilled, especially once our son Dalton decided I was “not allowed” to escort him tick-or-treating anymore. I’ve never met a holiday I didn’t like, but the elaborate costumes and piles of candy make Halloween one of my favorites.

Because dogs go insane over door knocking and doorbells (and we always have at least one dog), my friend JM and I sit at the bottom of my porch on Halloween night, wearing witch hats and handing out candy from a huge cauldron. Last night, I even had my K-Pop Demon Hunters playlist and speaker ready to blast the second we saw any members of Huntr/x or the Saja Boys.

Andy, who is not a holiday person, was happy to raid the cauldron, take all the Reese’s, and watch TV inside.

Generally the cauldron is emptied of candy by 8:30 PM. Until last night.

We had far fewer tick-or-treaters last night than last year or the year before. No one parked in the school parking lot, either.

Much to my sorrow, there was only ONE Rumi from K-Pop Demon Hunters.

We told every kid to take whole handfuls of candy. If they passed us again, we insisted they take some more. We pushed candy on every parental escort.

We flagged down adults walking their dogs AND the UPS driver, reverse-robbing them by demanding they take candy.

The horde of teens that usually comes by to mop up (maybe with a single mask or wig shared between 5 adolescent males) never showed.

We were ready to pack it in, cauldron still more than half-full, when a minivan finally stopped right in front of us. And sat there for a full minute.

JM and I saw a flap of black fabric, perhaps a Dracula cape, caught in the rear passenger door. There was movement in the car, maybe the twinkle of sparkly fabric briefly catching the streetlight.

We held our breath, like you do when you’re afraid to startle a wild animal.

Finally, the minivan disgorged a mass of costumed kids: an inflatable capybara jockey, a walking tombstone, something requiring glittery orange veiling, and more that I can’t remember because I was entranced by the capybara.

Those trick-or-treaters were bit taken aback by the enthusiastic cheering from two middle-aged white women. We had to encourage them to take as much candy as they wanted, which they did. It still wasn’t as much candy as I wanted them to take (but probably it was more than Dalton the candy hoarder wanted them to have).

Even though there were elaborate decorations and lights on all down the block, most of the group immediately returned to the minivan. Only the capybara jockey tried the house next door (yes, the one belonging to my infamous, asshole cop neighbor).

No one answered.

After the cabybara jockey returned, the minivan drove away. JM and I stared at each other, confused.

JM asked, “Um…why just your house?”

“I know, right? Every other house on the block looks like an infestation of Halloween inflatables and I just have the wreath you made me. I didn’t even do a jack-o’-lantern this year, since Andy thinks it’s a waste of money to buy food for decoration.”

Shaking my head, I looked back at my porch and its minimal fall decor.

And saw the flag I hung out months ago.

A white and red flag that reads "ABOLISH ICE"

I barely notice that flag any more. But I’m glad someone else did.

First Fire, Now ICE (#384)

Los Angeles still needs federal funds to finish cleaning up the devastating fires from January.

We got ICE instead.

We got the California National Guard, too, as Trump jumped at the chance to finally play Fascist-in-Chief. It’s not legal, of course, but what does that matter to Felonious the Filth?

Is this bullshit? Absolutely. Boston may run on Dunkin, but Los Angeles runs on immigrants (approximately 33% of our population).

And the immigrants ICE is targeting? Many are legal. They’re getting arrested at work, which means these immigrants ARE WORKING. Even the waste of flesh that’s running ICE admits they aren’t the criminals Trump promised to target while lying his ass off as usual campaigning last year.  These immigrants pay taxes, which is why ICE now uses the IRS to find them. Some have had the visas they worked so hard to get capriciously revoked. Some are being deported due to administrative and clerical errors.

ICE lies in wait in the fashion district and elementary school graduations. Cuz that’s where hardened criminals like moms and little kids hang out, apparently.

ICE is so proud of their work ripping apart families that they now cover their faces. Couldn’t get those MAGA fuckers to wear a mask during an actual pandemic, but now a mask is better than being identified. “Proud” boys, my ass. I guess they’d rather not have their own families see them sending other families to concentration camps.

Maybe it’s a good sign that our American-grown Nazis wear masks. Keep ICE ashamed and afraid.

ICE is SO bad that initially, both our notoriously racist and corrupt Los Angeles Police Department and Sheriff’s Department put out statements on Saturday saying, “We are absolutely NOT with them!” (Admittedly, that was short-lived. The LAPD is already climbing back on the authoritarian bandwagon.)

For those of you who’ve reached out, asking if we’re okay or telling me to stay safe, I appreciate your concern. We’re fine. The city isn’t engulfed in flames, no matter how many times the media shows a single burning Waymo car. The protestors are peaceful (with the exception of the inevitable masked agitators always looking for trouble, like during their attack on the UCLA encampment).

Today the biggest protest is in downtown LA, demanding the release of union leader David Huerta after his bullshit arrest by federal agents on Friday. 

The ICE/police/military response of rubber bullets, tear gas, and flash bang grenades are nowhere near us, at least for now. News 9 from Australia is in more danger than we are.

And if protestors shut a freeway down? It’s for a good fucking reason.

What you probably aren’t seeing are attempted ICE raids at our schools, or the 4th grader at a local school who was deported. Or the fear in the eyes of so many Latinos, even folks who’ve been here for generations. You’re not seeing much about the Asians who’ve been targeted, nor the international students at the University of California campuses who’ve arbitrarily had their visas revoked.

No wonder LA is protesting. The loss of anyone’s right to due process is the first step on the road to authoritarianism.

So, yeah, I’m gonna cheer on protestors closing those freeways.

What Los Angeles-hating MAGA never seems to realize is that the fascists will eventually come for them, too.

Maybe Buyer’s Remorse MAGA should also be out there protesting the use of the National Guard on American citizens.

While they still can.

Lunar New Year & Stuff (#382)

Gung hei fat choi!

For those unfamiliar, it’s New Year’s Day. At least in most of Asia. And since the western new year started off so badly, what with fires and the inauguration of nazis and shit, we’re gonna hope the Asian New Year starts a little better. (Maybe with a plan for actual resistance, Democratic Party?) At least this week we’ve had rain and clear air.

But back to Lunar New Year (which we use in SoCal because it’s more inclusive than “Chinese New Year”). Since my Chinese American husband didn’t grow up celebrating many holidays, I only recently learned that the traditional Cantonese New Year greeting  of “Gung hei fat choi” translates as “Hope you get rich.” I discovered this via Ronny Chieng’s hilarious stand up special, which I promptly showed to Andy. Andy laughed until he snorted and said, “Can confirm.”

The cultural emphasis on money is probably one of the reasons why my husband is so focused on saving money. He made coupons a huge part of my life. He spends hours making sure we have the best deals on the internet, cell phones, streaming services…and always get free new iPhones with them.

There are only two things Andy hoards: information and money. Everything else? Purge! He’s constantly trying to get rid of stuff in our garage. After our first two cats died, he tossed all their stuff. Then he threw out storage containers that had curtains from our last, bigger house.

Once we got Boss Cat, I had to buy new scratching posts, litterboxes, bowls, etc. When Andy moaned over the cost, I reminded him that it was his fault. And when Boss Cat promptly shredded some curtains and I discovered Andy had purged the old ones, I pointedly said, “Oh, too bad I have to buy more! They’ve gotten so much more expensive.”

I said that frequently.

After we lost our dogs Woofie and Fey to various cancers, Andy carefully boxed up their bowls, toys, leashes, and collars. He even sacrificed precious garage space for their bagged-up beds. Months later, we had all the amenities ready for our new dog Tankie. Tankie loved his beds and dog-proof soccer ball; Andy loved the lack of a canine cash outlay.

Our son Dalton, unfortunately, takes after both of us. He likes money AND stuff—especially stuffed animals. He refuses to donate any of them, despite being a teenager.

Some of the lesser stuffies relegated to the garage

Much to Andy’s dismay, the garage had to make room for a storage container of stuffies once Dalton started playing the tuba in middle school (the stuffie army AND the tuba could not all fit in the kid’s bedroom.)

Then Dalton got a surfboard. Andy quickly figured out how to secure it in the rafters of the garage.

Dalton recently spent his Christmas/lucky money from Andy’s mom on a snowboard.  This put Andy in a quandry: we will ultimately save money by not having to rent snowboarding equipment, but now there is more unpurgeable stuff in the garage.

Andy is currently eyeing Dalton’s tub of stuffies speculatively.

I’m not entirely certain that Dalton’s stuffed snake* is going to make it through the Year of the Snake.

And with the fascists in the White House?

I’m not exactly sanguine about the rest of us, either.

*Dalton also has a stuffed tarantula and Komodo dragon, though stuffed tigers dominate.

Our Own Grave (#377)

Well, fuck.

I specifically did not write a post before the election about how Harris would win because I didn’t want to jinx it like I did in 2016. Instead, I donated money, wrote letters to voters in swing states, and smugly watched Republicans panic.

I flew a “Harris-Walz” flag and put up a yard sign:

My dad, my friend JM, and even Brilliant Blonde Lawyer Sister were not so sanguine about a Democratic victory. Not even when I extolled the virtues of the Dem’s ground game, the problem with polling Gen Z and Millennials, and the fact that surely America had figured out that TRUMP IS A DODDERING IDIOT AND CONVICTED FELON WHO KILLED HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF AMERICANS WITH A BOTCHED COVID RESPONSE AND THEN ATTEMPTED A COUP.

Sorry, fam. I will never underestimate the stupidity of my fellow white Americans again.

More than one of my social media friends in Europe asked me, “How the hell could this happen?”

The mathematical answer? Based on the projected final vote count, approximately 6 million fewer people voted for Harris than voted for Biden in 2020, while about 2 million MORE people voted for Trump this time around. (Harris will probably get 9-10 million more than Hillary Clinton did in 2016, in case you are wondering.)  The loss of blue voters isn’t due to a declining population, either. The United States has added approximately 6 million eligible voters to the rolls since 2020.

So at least 8 million people couldn’t bring themselves to vote for a Black woman. There’s a word for that: misogynoir.

And 6 million people went from, “Biden’s old, but Trump must be stopped” to “The options are a treasonous, convicted felon rapist or a Black woman? I can’t vote for either. Oh, well.”

As for the 76 million people who  actually vote for Trump? Originally I wrote a long historical explanation for this post. It had dozens of hyperlinks and theories about this country’s glorification of rugged individualism (i.e., willful ignorance and toxic masculinity), the impact of our inability to apologize/make amends for slavery or genocide, and the Republican agenda of defunding education after the Vietnam War.

But I’m gonna spare you all that. Since this country is so enamored of someone who “tells it like it is,”* here’s me, telling it like it really is.

If you’re well-off and you voted for Trump, you’re a selfish asshole. You got yours. You have no empathy and do not care about women dying, the planet becoming unlivable, or Putin annexing Europe. Your money and privilege are, after all, so much more important than mere people.

If you’re middle class and you voted for Trump, you can’t math. Trump plans on more tax cuts for corporations and the wealthy, plus tariffs to destroy the strong economy President Biden painstaking rebuilt from the LAST inept Trump administration.

If you are a white woman who voted for Trump, congrats to you, you good little foot soldier for the white supremacist patriarchy. Welcome to the Republic of Gilead. Kiss your birth control, bodily autonomy, and other rights goodbye, sweetie, especially if you live in a red state. At least that red robe matches the blood on your hands real nice.

And if you’re a naturalized or first generation Trump voter who isn’t a white, male billionaire? You think you’re “one of the good ones,” and are utterly unprepared to be rounded up and deported. Too bad the ICE goons are coming for you no matter how many MAGA hats you wear.

Oh, and if you’re Christian and voted for Trump? No, you’re not. You’re not about feeding the hungry, welcoming the stranger, and loving your neighbor. You’re a Christo-fascist (and Old Testament, at best).

And when any of you Trumpers land in the hole you dug by voting for that vile, fascist monster?

I’m gonna be the first to toss in a shovel full of dirt and say, “We fucking told you so.”

“TWICE.”

 

*Yes, I know Trump doesn’t actually tell it like it is. He just lies.

Waiting (#314)

I am not a patient person. I was the kid in the car asking “Are we there yet?” every 10 minutes. My many siblings were equally impatient. Road trips were an endless chorus of questions about how long it was to the bathroom, restaurant, and destination.

Unsurprisingly, we didn’t go on many road trips.

My Chinese-American husband is patient (sadly, he grew up on Oahu, which is too small for road trips). I’m not sure if he’s naturally mellow, or if the tropical “hang loose” vibes worked on his personality the opposite way that the intense, political atmosphere of Washington, D.C. affected me.

Perhaps our different levels of patience exemplify the difference in our cultures. My Western mindset insists that I can control my destiny if I work, scheme, and worry enough. At the very least, maybe I can get someone incompetent fired if I document the crap out of his failings. But Andy doesn’t see the point; people are gonna be stupid and other people are gonna cover for them. That’s life, and you have no control over your own fate, let alone anyone else’s. Why exhaust yourself changing nothing? Continue reading Waiting (#314)

Salute to Stupidity (#256)

Growing up in Washington, D.C. means no other Independence Day celebration will live up to your childhood memories. For a relentlessly political, cynical city, they throw a heck of a party.

Photo by Ron Engle

First, there’s the National Independence Day Parade. This ain’t no small, hometown parade where the local horses and fire trucks are the stars of the show. This is A Historical Spectacle. There are hundreds of Uncle Sams (some  in balloon form or on stilts). Bewigged Founding Fathers abound, as do Paul Revere impersonators. Military bands–past and present–are pressed into service, sweating in wool uniforms and 100 degree heat. My sisters and I once counted seventy-five Betsy Rosses. (We would’ve liked some Deborah Sampsons better, but we cheered what female historical figures we could get.) Continue reading Salute to Stupidity (#256)

Don’t (#247)

Senator Elizabeth Warren, Presidential Candidate, has claimed to be Cherokee for years.

After Trump questioned her claim in about the most racist way possible, Warren took a DNA test which shows a possibility of Indigenous ancestry 8-10 generations ago.

The Cherokee Nation was very unhappy with Warren’s claim and her DNA test.

White people everywhere said, “I don’t get it?”

So here’s a super abbreviated primer for white people, culled from recent real-life conversations, Facebook battles, and Twitter discussions.

Continue reading Don’t (#247)

Red Flags (#226)

You know what I was excited about when Andy and I bought our house?

Putting up a flag pole. I couldn’t wait to fly seasonal house flags.

I envisioned a flag with flowers for summer, an autumn flag with falling leaves, a black cat for Halloween, and Christmas flag with a polar bear. Of course I would fly the Stars & Stripes for Independence Day. Continue reading Red Flags (#226)

Still We Reap (#225)

In my AP history class in Northern Virginia, we held an annual debate about the Civil War.

I know, right? What’s there to argue about? Slavery bad. Confederacy wrong. I thought captaining the team for the North would be a slam dunk.

I forgot I was in Virginia, Confederate flag central. Continue reading Still We Reap (#225)

White Silence (#196)

White Supremacists rallying in Charlottesville, courtesy of Molly Ruth

The first time I ever heard the n-word, I was in Charlottesville, Virginia. I was nine, walking with my mother and stepfather. Two kids ran past. One called the other a word I’d never heard growing up in Washington, D.C., despite having classmates and friends of multiple races.

My mother pressed her lips into a thin line, then said, “I hate that word.”

My stepfather agreed.

I asked, “What word?” Continue reading White Silence (#196)