My Chinese-American husband waited
to bring a white woman home until he was almost thirty. At that point, Jay and Sunny were grateful Andy had found . anyone
There were plenty of arguments
over our marriage venue and our potential change of last names, but no arguments against our actual marriage.
Once we were married, though, it wasn’t exactly smooth sailing. Jay
was upset when we didn’t have a child—specifically, the Number One Son of the Number One Son—right away. When the in-laws came to visit, they hit me with criticism for my cooking, my cats, my teapot, our dogs, and even our local Costco.
This negativity wouldn’t have bothered me as much if Jay and Sunny criticized their son-in-law or their other daughter-in-law. But
Sunny fawned over her son-in-law. And her other daughter-in-law? Denny’s Wife escaped the trials and tribulations I endured— including the Daughter-in-Law Tea Ceremony.
While favorite DIL status seemed an impossibility, I hoped that, once the Number One Son was on the way, I might at least achieve Level “Leave Her Alone.”
Continue reading Daughter-in-law The First, Daughter-in-law The Worst (#310) Bet your friends would like this (unless they're racists): Like this: Like Loading...
You know those big, dysfunctional but lovable white families you used to see in television and film? They were all about siblings being super shitty to each other. Yet when one member of the family was threatened, the family closed ranks and fended off the attacker.
I grew up in a huge, white, broken, dysfunctional family.
I thought those stories were bullshit.
Continue reading When the Cavalry Sucks (#181) Bet your friends would like this (unless they're racists): Like this: Like Loading...
I’ve had a lot of comments from incredulous readers over the last few months. Apparently, no one believes that I have not lost my shit yet with my provocative Chinese-American in-laws. Not even when
they nearly burned down the house and never apologized.
Spoiler alert: I have, indeed,
lost my shit. It just wasn’t on my in-law’s first visit. (You didn’t think they would only visit once, did you?)
There are many reasons for not losing your shit with in-laws, of course. But the main one? Indoctrination.
In the White Anglo Saxon Protestant culture of my youth, girls did not make scenes.
Continue reading Hostess with the Mostess…Dysfunction (#179) Bet your friends would like this (unless they're racists): Like this: Like Loading...
The Ultimate American Muscle Car is being put out to pasture…maybe.
When Andy and I met, I had a two-seater convertible. Andy had an overpowered Ford Mustang. In his Cobra, Andy drove like a man on a mission – and the mission was to destroy every single stereotype about slow, cautious, incompetent Asian drivers.
Continue reading When Your Asian Guy Fights for His Muscle Car Instead (#158) Bet your friends would like this (unless they're racists): Like this: Like Loading...
After much prodding, Andy finally read my post on
the difficulty of getting his mother a present. He snickered, told me it was funny, and asked when I was going to write Part II.
I said, “What? There’s no Part II. I win. End of story.”
Andy said, “Not exactly.”
Continue reading Gifting East: Part II…Because Part I Was, in Fact, a Fail (#87) Bet your friends would like this (unless they're racists): Like this: Like Loading...
My Southern grandmother drilled old-fashioned etiquette into my mother’s head. My mother drilled that same etiquette into mine. Which is weird, really. My mother turned her back on much of her upbringing when she became a liberated woman. She reclaimed her maiden name. She mortified my grandmother by embracing their Cherokee heritage and getting suntans so dark my racist grandmother would insist – in the most DIRE tones — that “her daughter was turning black.” My mother discarded “Mrs.,” bras, hats, gloves, and the idea that all ladies should be competent with a stove or a vacuum.
Continue reading No Thank You (#65) Bet your friends would like this (unless they're racists): Like this: Like Loading...