We have a lot of possums in our neighborhood. They freak some folks out, but they’re great to have in your yard—they eat bugs like ticks and they’re immune to rabies.
But those possums don’t always stay in the yard. Andy and I found one in the garage one night, sitting in a bag of dog food, chowing down. He blinked once at us and kept eating kibble. The possum continued to stuff his unbothered little face as Andy dragged the bag out of the garage and into the yard. Eventually the possum sauntered off into the night, sated.
We got a giant plastic container for dog food storage the next day.
Andy and I had a rare date night at a fancy gala when our son Dalton was in middle school. I was excited that there would be dancing. Andy was excited there would be good food he didn’t have to cook. Dalton was excited to finally be at home, alone, with unlimited time on his gaming computer.
But no sooner had the dancing begun than I got a phone call: “MOM! There’s a possum in the kitchen!”
“What?! Are the animals attacking it?”
“It’s in the corner under the chair and the dog barked but couldn’t get to it. I locked the dog and Boss Cat in my bedroom.”
“Well done, we’re on our way!”
We hurriedly exited the event (WHICH WAS NOT CHEAP, ALAS FOR DESSERT) as Dalton texted me a picture:
Halfway home, Dalton called again: “I got it out of the house!”
“Great job! How?”
“I set up exercise mats and cushions blocking off every path except for one to the door. Then I opened the door, got a broom, and kind of herded it along the path until it ran out the door.”
We congratulated Dalton on his ingenuity and speculated that the very small possum squeezed under the gap in our security door, possibly to escape a predator. Except fleeing into a house with a bully mix and a fierce cat was jumping from the frying pan into the fire. That possum was darn lucky that 1) our house is small, with minimal open space between furnishings, and 2) Boss Cat preferred to hunt other predators.
After we hung up the phone, Andy shook his head and said, “I can’t believe he got the possum out of the house.”
“Oh, I knew he would.”
“You did not.”
“Honey. Our kid is impatient as fuck. No way was he going to wait for us to get home.”
Especially not when his gaming computer was locked up with the barking dog and cat.