Thanks (#160)

Andy and I didn’t travel this Thanksgiving. We’re staying in LA and having dinner with his three cousins, their spouses, and his aunt and uncle. Andy’s happy, because it’s low stress and highly economical.

He’s got a point. Yet I’m sad I’m not with my own white and uptight family, playing hearts and pigging out. This year, we wouldn’t even fight over politics — even Republican Big Brother agreed that Trump is a walking horror show.

As for low stress, well, that’s easy for Andy to say. He’s not the one who spent four hours yesterday making a maple cream pie from scratch yesterday. He’s not the one who discovered that her husband had used up all the flour, either.

And he was damned near oblivious when the cat helped herself to some mouthfuls while the four-hour pie was cooling.img_0385

Andy was supposed to be watching the pie.

Andy’s lucky he’s still alive, especially since I only made the pie because his cousins specifically requested we bring that pie for their Thanksgiving Feast.

Andy, in an effort to avoid getting a pie thrown at his head, tried to minimize the damage. “Honey, it’s no big deal! You were going to cover it with whip cream anyway, so just fill in the hole with whip cream!”

“Are you insane?!” I shrieked back. “I cannot serve your family cat-eaten pie!”

“But they’ll never know!”

“I’ll know! And for God’s sake, she ate a hole with the same mouth she uses to CLEAN HER BUTT! It’s not sanitary!”

“But –”

“Just NO! What is wrong with you?!” I waved the pie in a most threatening manner, then carted it off to the fridge. Then I went into my room and cried. And got a grip, because, honestly, it’s only a pie. A stupid PIE.

We aren’t starving. Our families aren’t in harm’s way, like so many other families.

Native Americans trying to protect their water are being hit with rubber bullets, water canons, and tear gas. One woman’s arm nearly had to be amputated.

Syrian schools and childrens’ hospitals have been bombed into oblivion — with children inside.

If I had the mental energy to flip out over a pie, well, I should be thankful for my privileged life.

Andy went to the store and got more cream.

We cut the cat-desecrated piece out of the pie and threw it away. We had undesecrated pie for dessert last night, and I ate another piece while writing this post.

And yes, I had to fight off the cat. Again.

In a few more minutes, I’m going to make another maple cream pie. (Andy’s family will never know it, but they should be thankful that I was there to save them from cat-butt pie.)

But before I tackle another crust, I’m going to donate to the Native Americans who consider Thanksgiving a day of mourning. And with good reason, given our government’s history of broken promises and genocide.

I’m thankful the original Americans still endure.


If you would like to help, here’s a link or two:

GoFundMe Account

Amazon wishlist for Medics (includes heaters, drones, camping supplies)

Published by

Autumn Ashbough

WF writing about the humorous perils of life with Chinese-American significant other.

14 thoughts on “Thanks (#160)”

  1. I miss baking pies. I used to be pretty good at it. My mom and grandma were even better. This year my contribution will be mashed potatoes, cranberry relish, and a curried vegetable medley. (We all agree that a green bean casserole should be banned from our table.) My niece will be bringing the dessert.

    I, too, have so much to be thankful for. Looking out the window now, the first think I see is my jasmine plant with its colorful autumn leaves trimmed with sparkling, left-over raindrops. All the little things mean a lot.

  2. Ahhh, pie. Yes, this reminds me when my cat licked the butter and I contemplated serving the butter to my friends who were heading over for breakfast. I made the mistake of posting this idea on FB, and they saw it, and well…new butter was served.

    But I have to agree with Andy here (surprised?). I would have served the pie anyway. *giggling* I mean, why not? You could have nuked it anyway. Hahahahhaa. I think I’ve lived in Asia too long. Sorry.

    Nah, it’s good. 🙂 Happy Thanksgiving!

    1. When Andy’s cousins heard the story, Freddy was pro “fill the hole,” Engineer Cousin thanked me for making a second pie, and Fashion Plate Cousin said she would have thrown in the towel after the first pie, apologized, and brought nothing. Asians vary!

      Hope your Thanksgiving meal was “butter” than that cat-blessed breakfast!

  3. LOL, that post made me laugh! I so get where you’re coming from with the stress yet realizing your life was pretty good anyway. That was a great solution to the pie problem btw. 🙂

  4. Thanks for sharing Autumn! Sorry for MIA for a while especially on FB. I got tired of the news. Well, we do eat cats, so cat-butt-pie is not too bad. It’s funny that white people get so engaged in these holiday celebration spirits. My wife is the same. She had to dress up for Halloween. She had to buy a special outfit for mini wong for thanksgiving. She had to put up the lights for Xmas. The list goes on and on. For Chinese, we only celebrate one big holiday and that’s Chinese New Year. I don’t even care much about my bday.
    Anyway, i love the end. Thanks for reminding us. It is very true. Sometimes, we are so consumed by these silly first world problems that we need to pull ourselves back and look at how lucky we are.

    1. Yes, sometimes one just has to turn off the news, or Twitter. It’s overwhelming. Hope renews overnight, only to be crushed the next day by the latest cabinet pick, or conflict of interest, or threat against the First Amendment…

      I’m with your wife — I love holiday traditions, and Christmas is my favorite. Andy’s like you: “WHY?!”

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