We moved because Andy wanted a dog. I mean, we might have left our townhouse less than a year after we got married because avoiding the neighbors we’d seen naked was exhausting. Or possibly because the two small bungalows next to us were slated to be demolished and turned into apartment building that would block our view and light.
But really, I’m pretty sure it was the dog. Continue reading A Yard of His Own (#123)
‘Twas the week before Christmas
And all through the courts
Eleven angry jurors
Were no longer good sports.
The evidence was lame
The man should be freed
Self-defense was enough
What more could anyone need?
But Juror Twelve disagreed.
That motherfucker. Continue reading Death to Juror Number Twelve (#122)
Said Juror Number One
“Not Guilty, are we done?”
Said Juror Number Two
“Juror One, I’m with you.”
Said Jurors Six to Three
“We completely agree.”
From Juror Number Seven
All concurred through Eleven.
And then there was Juror Twelve.
That Sonuvabitch. Continue reading Juror Number Twelve (#121)
After serving on two excruciating civil juries, I got lucky. I reported for jury duty twice and never left the jury room. I was dismissed from service at the end of the day. Both times.
There was great rejoicing. Continue reading When You Listen to Lawyers (#120)
Most Americans don’t get called for jury duty more than a few times in their lives. But most people don’t live in Los Angeles County. LA has a massive number of court cases. LA also has a massive immigrant population that a) is not always fluent in English (a necessity for jurors), and b) does not always have the driver’s license that lands an Angeleno on California’s list of potential jurors. Continue reading Fastest Verdict in the West (#119)
I heard people bitch and moan about jury duty my entire life:
“You have to drive all the way downtown! In rush hour!”
“Three months on a capital case! Sequestered. Ended in the jury hung and me damned near divorced!”
“You know what’s crazy? Entrusting your life to twelve people who weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty!” Continue reading Jury The First (#118)
