This was supposed to be my first “Guest Post,” written entirely by my Chinese-American guy, Andy. It only took me five months of badgering, and I was super excited about it. His deadline was yesterday.
This morning, Andy showed me his post. It was a one-page flow chart. This is what happens when an engineer has a writing assignment and no supervision, apparently.
I decided I had better preface the flow chart an interview with Andy. Enjoy.
So what is the topic of your post today?
It’s more of a methodology than a real post. There are no deep thoughts here. It’s all about how to meet women. But it could apply to meeting anyone, really.
And why did you pick this topic?
I don’t know. Because you made me?
Really, honey? Okay, fine. So why do you think I made you?
Because you got tired of writing?
No, HONEY, because after we started dating, you had more than one Asian friend or coworker ask, “Hey, how did you do it? How did you score a hot white babe like Autumn?”
Hahaha. Really?
YES.
Oh, uh… Well, that’s enough for an interview, right? Here’s the, uh, flow chart I made for how to meet women. (Click to enlarge.)
Now this is home for me. My brother and my ex are engineers. They don’t go to the bathroom without a flow chart. A project takes longer because there has to be a written chart on the project steps with critical path obstacles clearly noted. Sigh! I learned a lot from engineers but getting something done within a time frame wasn’t one of them. They do great work although my brother is still noted for an extra trip or two to Home Depot during the project. Perhaps Andy meeting you was an accident?
I think Andy picked dance as his chosen activity. But it was “the bad kind of ballroom” so he took his own advice and switch over to different classes with younger women.
Yeah, there are flow charts for projects but there is always an extra trips to Home Depot. The battle plan never survives contact with the enemy, right?
Nice guest post Andy. <> I think we know who has the writing talent and humor in the marital unit. Lol.
🙂
5 months of badgering? 5 months??? At least better later than never 😀 It’s actually a pretty comprehensive chart there, though I’ve never been the one to be good at reading flow charts. Rule of thumb: if you want to get the attention of someone, all you have to do is talk to them…”Hello” isn’t too hard to say, isn’t it? The worst case scenario is the other person will think you’re a bit of a creep. End of story 🙂
Yeah, I am not a flow chart person, either. I expected an anecdote or essay. I don’t know why.
Andy’s main point was proximity. You can’t meet girls if you don’t get near them. But after that, you are right — you must also talk to them!
Maybe Andy comes across as a thinker so hence the essay…but for some reason reading your posts, he doesn’t sound like someone who would write a lengthy essay. I mean, would you rather do an essay or laundry? 😀
So true. Can’t make friends if you lock yourself away or can’t get people near you. Maybe that’s why some people like clubbing and partying.
My dad, brother, and sister are engineers, and yes they are fond of saying “there’s an equation for everything” in life. Very funny^^
Can life really be boiled down to an equation? I can’t decide if that is comforting or depressing!
To be fair, that flow chart was pretty funny! But I will admit, your written posts are much more interesting Autumn 🙂
Aw, thanks, but Andy is going to be depressed! He was hoping his chart would go viral, I think. 🙂
Hey, it’s early days yet. Keep tweeting it and who knows what will happen.
I’ve been laughing out loud for the last two minutes over this! Too funny! Very “engineer-y”
I need to get Andy to read these comments himself, but I’ll say thanks on his behalf!
I’m dying. God, Andy! That sure is some amazing, simple chart! xDDD “Pick another activity, moron!”. Best advice ever. Lolololol.
But the conclusion is priceless: “I can’t help you”. Awesomely true. xD
This is genious xD
It is pretty funny. And true. Funny because it’s true.
This, Autumn! I’m an engineer too so I see where he’s coming from. Way to go drilling down to the heart of the matter lol.
I’ll make sure he knows you like it. I think he was secretly hoping it would go viral. 🙂
The chart looks like it could work for cats deciding which humans to like 😀
LOL. I think my cat’s chart would be:
Does the human feed me? -> Yes -> Is the human warm? -> Yes -> Keep human.
If either answer is “No” -> You can do better -> Scope out neighbors.