I am not getting a damned thing done today. Neither is anyone else in Los Angeles. Maybe the entire country. Facebook is more red and pink than blue. Twitter, for once, has joyfully buried its trolls in landslide of rainbow-colored glitter. When the head of a troll pops up, GIFs of Ruth Bader Ginsberg smack the crap out of it with Corinthian pillars (rainbow-colored, of course). Continue reading The Case for Glee & Glitter (#61)
The year before Andy and I got married, we went to nine weddings. Some were my friends, some were his friends, and some were mutual friends. My Chinese-American fiancé attended something like seven bachelor parties. Three were his closest friends: Salad, Pumpkin, and String Bean. Andy was String Bean’s best man, and he did String Bean’s party right – a boy’s night on the town, complete with pimp hat, handcuffs, and feather boa for the groom. Continue reading Alas for the Bachelor…Party (#60)
It’s Father’s Day in the United States. Oh, yay.
If you’re here looking for a feel-good, mushy post, keep looking. Continue reading Character (#59)
I’m not a fan of strip clubs. The places called “XXX” and “Exotic Dancer” in Hollywood and near Los Angeles International Airport are dark holes, reeking of desperation. There are a few bachelor parties that wander in on Friday nights, but for the most part, the clientele consists of socially awkward men. In fact, the LAX clubs do a nice business thanks to the lunch breaks of engineers in El Segundo’s aerospace/ defense companies. (Gotta wonder who signs off on THOSE security clearances.) Continue reading The Reluctant Bachelorette (#58)
I couldn’t figure out why my wedding was so stressful until I compared it to making a movie.
If a wedding were a Hollywood movie, the bride would be the director, the producer, and the writer. She’s the costume designer, the casting director, and the location scout.
The bride is also the star.
The bride is so screwed. Continue reading Murphy’s Wedding (#57)
About a month before I was to marry my Chinese-American fiancé, the first groomsman bailed. This was Andy’s friend from high school, nicknamed “Salad.” Despite the fact that we’d been at Salad’s wedding in Hawaii the previous year, Salad wilted in the face of his new wife’s worries over the lengthy flight from Hawaii to New Hampshire. I figured Baby Greens were on the way. Continue reading If Your Number’s Up (#56)
This was supposed to be my first “Guest Post,” written entirely by my Chinese-American guy, Andy. It only took me five months of badgering, and I was super excited about it. His deadline was yesterday.
This morning, Andy showed me his post. It was a one-page flow chart. Continue reading An Interview with Andy & Instructions for Meeting Women (#55)
I organized the first blood drive ever at my high school when I was a senior. I put up flyers, made sure the Bloodmobile made the morning announcements, and badgered seniors into making appointments to give blood. Continue reading The Bloodletting (#54)