The first time I got mistaken for the mother of one of my baby siblings, I was thirteen. I had taken Gorgeous Little Singing Sister (who at that time was more like Screaming Demon Sister) to the park with Baby Brother. Continue reading Baby Siblings From Hell (#42)
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When I was younger, I found Steve Martin’s remake of Father of the Bride ludicrous.Not just the film (though the plot was cheesy and contrived), but the idea.It was outdated.Who was attending the weddings when I was growing up? Me, and the rest of the couple’s children. A modern, fresh comedy would be Daughters of the Groom.Continue reading The Daughters of the Groom (#41)
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Once my father moved to Utah, he was the only relative within driving distance. After a few years and a lot of therapy, I actually made the trip. Continue reading Andy Goes to Utah (#40)
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One of my favorite shows is So You Think You Can Dance. The choreography is incredible, and the level of talent among the finalists is outstanding. The one thing I hate? The auditions. Continue reading White Assholes (#39)
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The whole bridesmaid issue is a bitch when you’ve got a lot of sisters. I had two ex-stepsisters, one stepsister, three half-sisters, and two regular sisters. Continue reading If Four Were Eight (#37)
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So…what is the difference between a payment and a gift?
When I met my Chinese-American fiancé, he already had a nice little townhouse near the beach in Los Angeles. He had a very nice muscle car. He’d clearly spent a lot of money on dance lessons. After I met him, he spent even more money on dancing. He gave me expensive presents, including a platinum and diamond engagement ring. Until I met his parents, I had no idea he came from an exceptionally frugal family. Continue reading Andy Drives a Hard Bargain (#35)
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My Chinese-American boyfriend’s birthday came less than a month after we started dating. I got him a polo shirt, carefully cut off the tags, and wrapped it up in tissue paper. Andy opened it, thanked me, and sat in expectant silence. Continue reading Badge of Shame (#33)
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