Welcome to When West Dates East

Some swear it’s a myth: “You’ll find a unicorn before you find a white chick who dates Asian dudes.”

Welcome to my blog on unicorns, then. Here you will find romance, comedy, and perhaps a little tragedy as an Asian Male, White Female couple brave everything from Dim Sum to the dreaded Daughter-in-law Tea Ceremony.

Be warned. This is one foul-mouthed unicorn. Unicorn AMWF is also hauling some serious baggage.

If you like your stories linear, ours starts on the link below.

How I fell so madly in love that I forgot to do research…

52 thoughts on “Welcome to When West Dates East”

  1. Great blog! If you get the chance, you should watch the TV show “Fresh Off The Boat” with your husband. I wonder how much of that he experienced. BTW, Mary Anne Miller sent me.

    1. Welcome! Thanks for stopping by and the kind words. Yes, Andy and I really enjoy FOB — Constance Wu is a standout in an amazing cast. The poker bit was probably my favorite. (I haven’t gotten to Andy’s parents and gambling just yet.) It’s a nice set-up — Eddie is a fish out of water in a family that’s also a fish out of water.

      Mary Anne is adorably loyal. The Republican Party does not deserve her. 😉

  2. If you’re just reading this blog for the first time, you’ve got to continue – it’s witty and charming. You’ll be smiling through the posts. BAP gives it one big upvote.

  3. Love your blog! Our AMWF wedding is next year and I’ve been cracking up re-experiencing some of my first-Chinese-experiences through your eyes.

  4. I stumbled around here and I got to say that you captivated me with just this tiny bit of info at the top. Gotta follow good things. So happy to have found this blog! You’re really funny! Keep it up!

  5. Hi Autumn –

    Just want to say how much I enjoy your blog! Thanks for sharing your adventures with a a cast of characters straight out of Central Casting 🙂 Also, thank you for the poignant posts about your family – though they may drive us crazy at times, they are with us for life and we are ultimately chips from the same block.

    I started reading your posts last Monday (FYI I found your blog on Speaking of China – Jocelyn is awesome), with Post #1, and finally got all caught up yesterday – victory! However, I am now in withdrawal, as I await more tales from the front lines:) As I read each post,I could see them as their own sitcom episode. The stories are so eclectic – from insights into a cross-cultural relationship, the Hollywood life and the dance world. Yeah, you need your own sitcom!

    As a Chinese-American guy, I see where Andy is coming from. BTW I am in proper awe of his fish devouring skillz…

    Thanks for the great stories!

    1. AW! Thank you so much, Harai. You made my day.

      Off and on I do work on a nonfiction book proposal called: “When West Marries East: Memoirs of the Persecuted Daughter-in-Law,” but the blog is so episodic that, yeah, it would probably work best in television. Maybe the success of “Fresh Off the Boat,” will convince Hollywood that diversity = ratings someday.

      And then I think, “Oh, God. What if my mother-in-law sees it?!”

      1. Well…I’m kind of on team AMWF so I’m pretty biased either way. But your quirky sense of humor definitely won me over.

        I just drove past LA and you picked a great place to call home. Wish I’ll have the opportunity to live there one day.

        Have a Great New Years.

        1. There are great things about LA – multiculturalism, the ability to walk your dog almost everyday without wearing a thousand layers of clothing, and, of course the beach. But, man, we really need some water. Fingers crossed we get some next week.

          Yay for team AMWF…although the My Korean Husband recently had a post that questioned the use of the AMWF tag and brought up points I’d never thought about: http://www.mykoreanhusband.com/why-we-dont-label-ourselves-amwf/

          Maybe I’d get less porn searchers winding up on my website if I didn’t use the AMWF tag. 🙂

  6. Congratulations on 1 year! I feel lucky to have stumbled upon your blog in it’s early days, and look forward to each new post. I do have to agree with Andy though, what is with the baking?! We currently have 7 containers of Banana Cranberry bread in the fridge, I won’t eat it, the wife likes baking, but not eating, and of course the kids want processed snacks.

    Chocolate though, if it’s Godiva, Ghirardelli and/or European, that’s the good stuff. I worked for Godiva in college, and part of the training is that you have to sample all of the signature pieces, so you can describe the flavors to customers. I wasn’t a big fan of eating that many pieces, so I offered to split the pieces with my mother and sister, if they gave me a written description of the taste of the pieces. They eagerly accepted, and everyone was happy. After working there, according to my wife, I am a ‘chocolate snob’ since I avoid milk chocolate and only really go after european style dark chocolate pieces.

    Dark chocolate with raspberry = win. Dark chocolate shell, dark chocolate raspberry ganache filling = overtime win. Dark chocolate shell, dark chocolate ganache, from Belgium = slowly savored over a whole week, one thin slice at a time.

    1. Your Belgium chocolate would not last a week in my house. Andy talks a good game, but he’s learned to like desserts. He’s also learned to eat them fast. 🙂

      Thank you for being such a loyal reader!

    1. Thank you so much!

      I will now throw Andy under the bus — cuz what are husbands for — he’s the one who added the Chinese characters. Maybe he’s making fun of me? Does it mean “West goes into Eastern Darkness” or something? Or a tunnel? Or the underworld?

      Or is there a dialect difference?

      If you have a better translation, please, by all means, share! (This goes for anyone reading who has been too polite to tell me my blog has the equivalent of a crappy tourist tattoo with characters meaning “ignorant white person.”) Andy and I are going to have a conversation later…

      1. I was actually heading over to the archives, to catch up, but this comment got my attention and I simply couldn’t resist not to tell you for the thousand time that you’re extremely funny. Now I can’t stop laughing because of the way in which you have explained everything. (I have just used Google translate out of curiosity to see what it would translate that Chinese writing to. Somehow, it does not translate the character which is supposed to mean “meets”, or it offers other meanings for the word and none matches.)

        This reminds me of Josh and his stupid play on words. He actually DID make fun of me, since he knew I can only understand two or three characters. So he sent me some crazy stuff that made no sense. (I used GT and no good result. The thing was not written correctly, and it was incomplete too. I checked with two of my Chinese friends and GT was right.)

    1. Oh, thank you! Thank you so much. I think I would be happy just not to have inadvertently offended any Asian males, so to hear someone say I’m funny is the icing on the cake. 🙂

      I think I’m becoming less of a unicorn, though. There seem to be more and more AMWF couples. I’m really going to have to redo my welcome page. Maybe I’ll put up pictures of all the unicorn couples.

  7. I have been reading your blog almost around the time you started it. I just wanted to let you know that I love the way you write. You make me laugh almost every time I read it. Sometimes I do wish that you wrote more often. Your blog is definitely a stress reliever. Another fun fact is that I actually know where your house is. It is a great neighborhood! Your neighbor is a friend of mine.Keep writing!

    1. Oh, thank you so much for taking the time to comment. Comments like yours keep me going.

      And thank you very much for keeping my identity secret, also. I guess I can’t write any posts disparaging the neighbors now… 🙂

      1. Hahaha. Don’t worry. I won’t tell them. They are too busy to read blogs. (I hope you know who they are. ) So, you should be ok. I know how neighbors can be. You are too funny and nobody can be upset with you. Hope we never run in to each other. I like the suspense of not knowing who you are.

  8. Found your blog while searching for something to cheer up a friend whose son had two groomsmen bail at the very last minute (days before). Her comment: “that was awesome!”. I’m looking forward to reading additional posts (I can relate to the New Hampshire stories as I used to live in upstate NY) and I can also relate as the WF in an AMWF duet (27 yrs). If you haven’t already, you should write a book.

    1. Oh, thank you so much! And I am glad that our 3 flakey groomsmen were able to cheer someone up. Years later, it’s still shocking to me — what’s up with these flakey dudes, anyway? Same thing happened to the Ruby Ronin two months ago.

      27 years? You are a a groundbreaking unicorn. Well done.

      One of these days I’m going to turn some of these stories into a book proposal. Thanks for the encouragement. 🙂

  9. I guess nobody blinks twice when they see a white guy with an Asian girl these days, but the other way around is far less common. Nothing wrong with that of course.
    I have a friend whose Mum is Chinese and he is married to a white girl, so I guess he half counts!
    Off to read more as from the other comments it seems like you have a great blog and I love humour.

    1. Welcome! When I started this blog it did seem like there were a lot more white men with Asian women than the reverse, but I’ve definitely seen that changing, especially among younger folks. The popularity of K-pop and K-dramas may have a little something to do with it. We shall see if the trend survives the recent waves of anti-Asian hate that are unfortunately becoming more common.

  10. I stumbled around here and I got to say that you captivated me with just this tiny bit of info at the top. Gotta follow good things. So happy to have found this blog! You’re really funny! Keep it up!

  11. These days, it’s not unusual to see a white man with an Asian woman, but the opposite pairing is still relatively rare. However, there’s nothing wrong with that. I know a friend whose mother is Chinese and he’s married to a white woman, so he sort of fits both categories!

    1. I’ll be interested to see if the popularity of K-pop and K-dramas, combined with the increasing phenomenon of white male mediocrity in the US, results in more white women with partners of Asian descent. On the other hand, more and more women are opting to stay single! And, as you say, with more mixed race kids, the old definitions no longer apply. Could be a whole new world (that white supremacists hate).

If you liked this, let the white girl know!