To Capture the Castle (#133)

Once upon a time, the handsomest king in Europe (i.e., the only one without the Habsburg jaw) married the most beautiful woman in his court. On their honeymoon, they stayed at a charming castle. Then they lived happily ever after.

Nah, just kidding. The King was Henry VIII. You know this didn’t have a happy ending.

Unless you’re an American, in which case you’re hazy on all history before 1776. Continue reading To Capture the Castle (#133)

10 Tips For Driving on the Wrong Side of the Road (#132)

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Andy’s view of a white-knuckled American. Before he fell asleep.

After four days in London, Andy and I headed off into the countryside. We battled over the mode of transportation. Andy was pro-car. I was pro-train. Andy won with a quote from Hertz of approximately 25 pounds per day for a car rental.

The cheapest rental cars in England are manual transmission. And yes, that’s what was on our reservation.

I learned to drive on a stick shift. Andy did not. Andy learned to drive a stick shift on his Mustang Cobra when he was twenty-six, because that’s the car he really wanted and it doesn’t come in automatic.

Andy went through two transmissions and three clutches by the time we were married.

Andy’s night vision is also terrible. He refuses to admit this, but I’ve got three cyclists, two raccoons, one possum, a deer, and a feral cat who owe their lives to me screaming “Look out!” after 10 PM. Sadly, I wasn’t there to save the pole. Continue reading 10 Tips For Driving on the Wrong Side of the Road (#132)

London Calling (#128)

IMG_6884Those readers who follow me on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram know that Andy and I recently took a trip to Great Britain.

Those readers who don’t follow me on social media, well, you should. I have live action videos on everything from the Whitehall Horse Guards to Andy’s ongoing battle with the neighborhood squirrels.

Andy and I haven’t had a real vacation since our honeymoon. That was years ago. No, I’m not telling you how many, but remember, this is a memoir blog. It could be 3 years ago, it could be fifty! (It’s not fifty.) Continue reading London Calling (#128)

Best Little Ski Spot (#106)

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View of Cedar City from the southwest.

Our favorite ski town in the southwest is Cedar City.

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On your way from Mesquite to Cedar City, you will pass through the Virgin Gorge. Squint, and you will see insane persons free climbing.

Sort of. You can’t actually ski within the city limits of this small city in southern Utah. But Cedar City is a convenient (Andy says “cheap!”) place to stay if you want to get your alpine on up at Brian Head, which is about 45 minutes away. (35 minutes if Andy is driving.)

Cedar City is less than 3 hours from Las Vegas and well under 7 from Los Angeles (again, with the caveat that a maniacal male is driving an overpowered car and using Google Maps with Waze). Continue reading Best Little Ski Spot (#106)

Flipping Crazy (#84)

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No, despite the title, this not a post about my in-laws. It’s a cautionary tale about what not to do at high speeds while you are in a car. (I bet half of you suddenly thought of something nasty. Admit it.) Because I want any readers visiting from Big Asian Package’s blog to finish the story, I’m not going to tell you if you thought right. Not just yet. Continue reading Flipping Crazy (#84)