No sooner had my husband and I returned from our honeymoon than my Chinese-American father-in-law called, demanding to know where his grandson was.
He called every week. In vain did I explain family planning and birth control to my husband’s parents.
After three years, Jay finally quit calling. Continue reading Very Telling (#224)
I lost my mom when I was a teen. It was awful. It was untimely, a tragedy, etc. She left six kids with a) a mentally unstable father/ stepfather and b) a ton of unresolved issues.
I understood that it was better than the reverse. A mother should never outlive her children. Continue reading Try As You Might (#223)
Finding out I was pregnant was anticlimactic. Because here’s the rule: you can’t tell anyone until you know it’s a viable pregnancy.
Actually, you can tell people, sure, but since 1 out of every 3 pregnancies ends in miscarriage, you run the risk of having to un-tell them later. Possibly while sobbing incoherently.
So I was stuck in this no-man’s-land of being pregnant – maybe – for two weeks while I waited for my obstetrician to officially confirm that a) my pregnancy tests weren’t liars and b) the embryo had a heartbeat. Continue reading Not Your Ordinary Magic Wand (#217)
Trigger warning for miscarriage.
I spent decades in abject terror of an accidental pregnancy. When my husband convinced me it was time to try for a baby, it was jarring to have my mindset spin 180 degrees and think, “Oh, shit – what if I can’t get pregnant? And then what happens if I can’t stay pregnant?”
Despite having a mom who aspired to be a fertility goddess, I knew the statistics.
One out of every three pregnancies ends in a miscarriage. Continue reading Silence & Stigma (#210)