The Beat Down at an English Pub (#134)

Did I smell a rat at the pub?
Did I smell a rat at the British pub?

My Chinese-American husband and I have been lucky. Unlike so many other AMWF couples, Andy and I have never been harassed by racists. Maybe it’s because we live in Los Angeles, multi-racial city. Or maybe it’s because Angelenos are too self-absorbed to notice other people’s skin color.

Probably it’s because skin color doesn’t register when you’re always looking at your phone. Continue reading The Beat Down at an English Pub (#134)

When East Dates West: 1 Year Anniversary Post (#116)

IMG_2287Today is my website’s one year anniversary!

I’m amazed that I’ve been blogging for an entire year.

I’m beyond amazed that my blog averages four hundred human hits daily (though this is small potatoes to some bloggers, I remember when twenty hits was a good day).

I’m not really amazed that many of those hits come from porn-seekers.

A sincere thank you to all the readers who weren’t looking for porn.

A special thank you to all those readers who were looking for porn and decided to read on anyway. Continue reading When East Dates West: 1 Year Anniversary Post (#116)

Son-in-Law vs. Daughter-in-Law (#110)

IMG_5730When I butted heads with my in-laws, I had a secret weapon. Well, more like a secret label, really. I was able to avoid taking their criticism personally by calling it “a cultural difference.”

Doubling the number of bridesmaids to 8 due to Chinese superstitions about the Voldemort of numbers? It’s a pain in the ass, but fine, I’ll respect your superstition.

Ignoring the fact that I hate seafood and making sure every dish at the Chinese Wedding Banquet was marine? Well, each dish had some cultural significance and my in-laws paid for it. I fed my portions to my new husband and said nothing. Continue reading Son-in-Law vs. Daughter-in-Law (#110)

Gifting East (#86)

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I’ve seen quite a few blogs about the pitfalls of intercultural gift-giving. One Chinese-Canadian woman overwhelmed her new boyfriend’s parents with “over-the-top” gifts. Western blogger Ruby Ronin nearly drowned in food and red envelopes from the parents of various Asian boyfriends.

Meanwhile, I lived in a veritable gift vacuum. I received NO RED ENVELOPES from Andy’s Chinese-born parents. Continue reading Gifting East (#86)

Surname Siege (#80)

Knight looks elsewhere
Guess who’s the white pawn?

Last you heard, our interracial lovers got married and flew off into the sunsets of Playa del Carmen.

It should be the end of this blog, right? I mean, West met East, fell in love, got engaged, and got married, and lived happily ever after. End of story.

In fact, the battles had only just begun. Continue reading Surname Siege (#80)

No Thank You (#65)

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My Southern grandmother drilled old-fashioned etiquette into my mother’s head. My mother drilled that same etiquette into mine. Which is weird, really. My mother turned her back on much of her upbringing when she became a liberated woman. She reclaimed her maiden name. She mortified my grandmother by embracing their Cherokee heritage and getting suntans so dark my racist grandmother would insist – in the most DIRE tones — that “her daughter was turning black.” My mother discarded “Mrs.,” bras, hats, gloves, and the idea that all ladies should be competent with a stove or a vacuum. Continue reading No Thank You (#65)

An Interview with Andy & Instructions for Meeting Women (#55)

This was supposed to be my first “Guest Post,” written entirely by my Chinese-American guy, Andy.  It only took me five months of badgering, and I was super excited about it.  His deadline was yesterday.

This morning, Andy showed me his post.  It was a one-page flow chart. Continue reading An Interview with Andy & Instructions for Meeting Women (#55)

Dirty Laundry (#53)

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Dan Savage has a very funny and oh-so-true post about the myth of finding “the one:”

…[when] you meet somebody for the first time…they’re presenting their idealized self to you… Continue reading Dirty Laundry (#53)

Once Upon a Time, When We Were Just Friends (#50)

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You can learn a lot about a guy when you’re stuck in airport lines.

My Chinese-American fiancé and I were friends and dance partners for a long time before we got romantically involved. We spent a ton of time together at airports and hotels, not to mention the dance floor. We got to know each other very well. Continue reading Once Upon a Time, When We Were Just Friends (#50)

A Question of Cake (#49)

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I love cake. Okay, I love all baked goods, but cake is the best. It was my favorite part of all my parents’ weddings. It’s STILL my favorite part of every wedding. I do enjoy the dancing now that I bring my own partner, but while I’m dancing with Andy, I’m totally eyeing that four-tiered, fabulous, elaborate, fondant-covered wedding cake in the corner. Continue reading A Question of Cake (#49)