Backing the Wrong Horse (#146)

When I first worked in the Entertainment Industry, I was the Executive Assistant to the Empress of International Sales. Her lover was the CEO of our production company.

Hollywood is messy like that.

Both my boss and her boss/partner grew up riding horses. My boss even talked about riding her horse to school. For real.

I’m a city girl. Continue reading Backing the Wrong Horse (#146)

The Hunt (#139)

Look! It's a sign! A rainbow on the studio backlot...oh, wait, more Hollywood fakery.
Look! It’s a sign! A rainbow on the studio backlot…oh, wait, more Hollywood fakery.

When my production company laid me off, I sued them for unpaid wages. That’s risky. Hollywood is all about relationships. Relationships are all about getting along – even when you’re getting screwed. Make waves, and you may never be hired again. Unless, of course, you are An Established White Male Director or Actor, in which case everything from rape (statutory or aided by rufies) to drugs to assault to crazy-assed religious requirements are forgiven. You might not even have to do a highly publicized stint in rehab! Continue reading The Hunt (#139)

Cakes & Bellwethers (#138)

When I started working as an assistant for the Empress of International Film and Television Sales, it was a temp job, to make ends meet while I tried to make it as a screenwriter. But the Empress was soon addicted to my organizational skills. I was soon addicted to my paycheck and health insurance.

I worked long hours. In at 7-8 AM to deal with Europe, out at 7-8 PM after dealing with Asia. Right before film markets, the hours were even longer. At film markets and festivals, you were on duty 24-7. There were perks, though. Tables at the best restaurants had to be booked months in advance, with a deposit. If my boss got invited elsewhere, guess who got the pre-paid table? Me, and three friends. Sometimes it was me and some random people I’d literally just met. Continue reading Cakes & Bellwethers (#138)

Black Valentine (#115)

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About three years before I met Andy, it was A Very Bad Year for Dating. My boyfriends were:

The Cheater

The Emotionally Abusive Dude

Broody, Moody, Emotionally Unavailable Dude

Sometimes, you just have years like that. Continue reading Black Valentine (#115)

If It Were Not For Pumpkins (#89)

Pumpkin Festival
Pumpkin Festival, Laconia, New Hampshire

When Andy and I first met, we were always at dance events over Halloween weekends. Once we married and all our money went into our wedding, however, we stayed home. Sort of.

The night before Halloween, I pounced on Andy the minute he walked in the door from work. “C’mon, c’mon! Let’s go!”

“Huh? What? Where?”

“The pumpkin patch!”

“For…what?”

“For an orangutan, of course.” Continue reading If It Were Not For Pumpkins (#89)

Alas for the Red Car (#81)

 

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The original Red Car.  From the Robert Gaddie collection, photographer unknown. Courtesy of PacificElectric.org

Once upon a time, Los Angeles had mass transportation in the form of 900+ electric “Red Cars.” 1,100 miles of track connected cities such as Pasadena, Downtown LA, Santa Monica, and Long Beach. (Today New York City only has about 842 miles of track.) A massive hydro-electric plant in the Sierra Nevadas powered the cars. Continue reading Alas for the Red Car (#81)

Anchor Babies (#79)

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My friend M recently passed a young woman with a pack walking alone on a deserted rural road in the United States. In the rain. Now, I’d see this as a potential opening scene for a horror movie. M saw it as a Nicholas Sparks book. M stopped and offered the soaked young woman (we’ll call her “Anna”) a ride. Continue reading Anchor Babies (#79)

Murphy’s Wedding (#57)

Sometimes, the bride feels like anything BUT a princess.
Sometimes, the bride feels like anything BUT a princess.

I couldn’t figure out why my wedding was so stressful until I compared it to making a movie.

If a wedding were a Hollywood movie, the bride would be the director, the producer, and the writer. She’s the costume designer, the casting director, and the location scout.

The bride is also the star.

The bride is so screwed. Continue reading Murphy’s Wedding (#57)

The American Film Market (#29)

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Behind the Scenes at the American Film Market

Have you ever wondered how Hollywood movies wind up in Malaysia? The legitimate 10% that aren’t pirated, I mean. Well, hang onto your DVDS, I’m about to pull back the curtain. Continue reading The American Film Market (#29)

Andy Goes to Hollywood (#14)

The grass is always greener...especially when it's astroturf.
The grass is always greener…especially when it’s astroturf.

If you ever worked in the entertainment industry, a movie premiere was just an extension of your workday. A 5-6 hour extension, if you added in driving and parking. 6 out of 7 movies made by my employers were terrible, but God forbid Big Boss A caught you tacitly admitting this by sneaking out. Continue reading Andy Goes to Hollywood (#14)