The Beat Down at an English Pub (#134)

Did I smell a rat at the pub?
Did I smell a rat at the British pub?

My Chinese-American husband and I have been lucky. Unlike so many other AMWF couples, Andy and I have never been harassed by racists. Maybe it’s because we live in Los Angeles, multi-racial city. Or maybe it’s because Angelenos are too self-absorbed to notice other people’s skin color.

Probably it’s because skin color doesn’t register when you’re always looking at your phone. Continue reading The Beat Down at an English Pub (#134)

To Capture the Castle (#133)

Once upon a time, the handsomest king in Europe (i.e., the only one without the Habsburg jaw) married the most beautiful woman in his court. On their honeymoon, they stayed at a charming castle. Then they lived happily ever after.

Nah, just kidding. The King was Henry VIII. You know this didn’t have a happy ending.

Unless you’re an American, in which case you’re hazy on all history before 1776. Continue reading To Capture the Castle (#133)

10 Tips For Driving on the Wrong Side of the Road (#132)

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Andy’s view of a white-knuckled American. Before he fell asleep.

After four days in London, Andy and I headed off into the countryside. We battled over the mode of transportation. Andy was pro-car. I was pro-train. Andy won with a quote from Hertz of approximately 25 pounds per day for a car rental.

The cheapest rental cars in England are manual transmission. And yes, that’s what was on our reservation.

I learned to drive on a stick shift. Andy did not. Andy learned to drive a stick shift on his Mustang Cobra when he was twenty-six, because that’s the car he really wanted and it doesn’t come in automatic.

Andy went through two transmissions and three clutches by the time we were married.

Andy’s night vision is also terrible. He refuses to admit this, but I’ve got three cyclists, two raccoons, one possum, a deer, and a feral cat who owe their lives to me screaming “Look out!” after 10 PM. Sadly, I wasn’t there to save the pole. Continue reading 10 Tips For Driving on the Wrong Side of the Road (#132)

Many Mothers. No Mom (#131)

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The Aisle of Pain

It was the year after Andy and I got married. It was the week before the United States would indulge in an orgy of brunches and flower arrangements.

Mother’s Day was coming at me. Much like a Mack truck. Of manure. Continue reading Many Mothers. No Mom (#131)

London Diary: Day One (#130)

T-12 hours: I check the forecast for London:LondonForecast

So much for, “Oh, to be in England now that April’s there…” But as the Vacation Rain Goddess, I am unsurprised.

[22 hours later]

Our 777 approaches Heathrow. Then passes Heathrow, circling London and heading back east to the runway. It’s sweet that the pilots like to give incoming tourists a view…of the RAIN CLOUDS. Almost like they’re saying, “Here’s a preview! Next time, when you think British vacation, think British Virgin Islands, you bloody fool.” Continue reading London Diary: Day One (#130)